In every episode, a new love interest moves to town. Frisbees slide effortlessly across every park, soccer balls land at protagonists’ feet. The precinct is full of cockroaches, of cakes. The brewery overflows, sudsy beers seeping through every open window, flooding from every door. A woman in a bikini, walking from the ocean, tossing water away with a shake of her hair, slows time. We never answer our phones, preferring instead to let callers be fooled by voicemails, Hello… Uh huh… That’s right… just kidding, you’ve reached Danny, leave a message! We can get anywhere in Los Angeles in ten minutes. We start romantic relationships one night and discover in the morning our new beaus are opposing counsel. We know more than one hacker. We dress as spiders with elaborate arms for Halloween, knocking all the picture frames off the way in narrow apartment hallways. All of our coworkers also wear costumes. We acquire Mexican passports on an hour’s notice. We raise children who aren’t ours when our own children are too old to be cute, when they start successful food trucks after a semester in college. Does anyone feel like scolding themselves? Does anyone have the urge to dilate their eyes? I know I was supposed to feel something right now, I just don’t know what it was. I don’t need to go for a walk any more. A cat in a shark suit is riding a vacuum. Another patient has, without knowing it, shown her doctor the light. This detergent removes every stain, every stain.